12 Weird USB Gadgets that Suck

USB was actually designed to allow many peripherals to be connected to computer using a single standardized interface socket but in the recent years, a lot of things have been manufactured that can be connected to computers via USB. We see a lot of unusual and weird USB devices now and then. Some of them are just pointless and some just suck.

You may also like our earlier posts about Eco-friendly gadgets.

Here is a list of some of the USB devices that are pointless and we wish weren’t even conceived.

USB Pole Dancer

When you are on your computer, you are probably there to work. You wouldn’t want anything to disturb you, would you? That’s where this USB pole dancer fits in. You type to make her dance, the faster you type the faster she dances. I don’t see the point, if you are typing why would you want to watch her dance?

USB Missile Launcher

If you want to waste $32.49 on USB device that shoots Missiles to more than 10 feet at an extremely fast rate and has  pre-recorded sound effects, get this USB Missile launcher. Not only will it make your workplace unsafe, but also make you look like a 5-year-old.

USB Crocodile Memory stick

The whole point of choosing a Memory stick over an External hard disk is that the former is small and can be taken anywhere in pocket. But this Crocodile USB Memory stick won’t allow that because it is too big for your pocket and is bulky too.  It weighs 1.1 ounces, supports USB 2.0, and stores 128MB of data – which too much for a $44 “Pen Drive”.

Armageddon USB Hub

If you are looking for some fun in your workplace, buy one of these “Blow the World” USB hubs. Just flip the two switches, turn the key, open the plastic cover, and push the red “ultimate destruction” button for some loud honking noises (What else did you expect?). The Armageddon USB hub retails for $55.50.

Duck Shaped Vacuum Cleaner

Alrite, this is one USB device that really sucks. It sucks the dust and dirt you may have on your desk. It weighs 3.5 ounces and can be used to clean the keyboards too.  Anyone buying this Duck Vacuum cleaner is surely wasting his money on something that he doesn’t really need because there are much cheaper and better non-USB alternatives out there.

USB Oil Burner

The USB-Powered oil burner lights up in a random, warm or cool array of colors and at the same time fills up your room with fragrances. Think about it, you are sitting in your room. A friend of yours enters and he had played football and he stinks. You have to first boot your PC, connect the Oil Burner if isn’t yet connected and wait for it to start producing fragrances. Thanks, but I am buying a “real” Oil burner instead.

Office Fondue

The office fondue features a fondue pot with LCD and heater, a blue FireGlow USB cable, six Fundue forks, and a recipe booklet. Use it to melt chocolate and cheese.  The Fondue comes with a Recipe bookletand 6 Fundue Forks with included monitor attachments.

USB Massage Ball

This USB-powered gadget ball gives you a massage without ever leaving your desk. Cool, now I have to turn on my computer for a massage. I really don’t see a point why anyone should buy the USB Massage ball instead of a regular one.

USB Plasma ball

You may call it a USB Plasma ball but I call it the “ball of ultimate distraction”. Why else would you want to buy a $13.81 red and blue plasma light streaming device if it wasn’t for the distraction it causes. Blue flashes of lightning will move towards your fingertips once you touch the ball.

USB Boxer

This USB device is no better than the USB Pole dancer we mentioned above. The USB Boxer comes with fully interactive USB Boxer with graphics and sounds.  Unlike the USB pole dancer, you get to choose the mode of action. You can choose between Auto – Manual – Keystroke modes.

USB Heating Gloves and Slippers

Want to keep your feet and hands warm when you are working on computer? Checkout these USB heating gloves and slippers. Just wear them and connect them to the USB port. the problem is, they come with short wires so you will have to keep yourself attached to the Computer all the time. I can imagine what it would be like when you get a phone call or someone at the door and smash your Laptop or cabinet to the ground and cutting the wires of the slippers and gloves too.

USB Shaking Octopus

The USB Shaking Octopus is said to provide vibrating sensations to your head through the device’s legs. You just connect it to your computer’s USB port, place it on your head, press the button, and your headache goes away. As simple as that. The legs are adjustable so that you can also use the USB Shaking Octopus on your neck, waist, or whichever body part you wish. But the question arises, Do you really want a USB device to get rid of your headache? I mean, there are so many cheaper alternatives out there and just because this connects to your computer doesn’t mean it doesn’t suck.